My grass is neither green nor dead….
My nephew is two weeks old today. I was fortunate to be at the hospital when he was born and I must say how cute he is. It was quite strange to be on the ‘waiting’ end of a new baby. After a long and sleepless night, Owen arrived. Pink, beautiful, healthy, big (it’s all relative), and immediately placed in the arms of his mother. It was at this time, after very little sleep, that I became overwhelmed with an intense feeling of sadness. Of course I was ecstatic to become an aunt and Owen is absolutely perfect! Yet, it was the first time that I observed what a ‘normal’ delivery is and with that observation came the realization that I got robbed. Addison was taken immediately to the NICU and I didn’t even see her until she was 30 hours old. I didn’t hold her until the next day and even then it was only for a moment. We had to leave our precious baby in the hospital when we went home.
Needing some comfort I called my mom on the way home from the hospital. She was watching Addison that day and I could hear Addy singing and playing in the background. As a good mom does, my mom listened to me pour over my emotions. When I was finished she kindly and lovingly explained to me that ‘the grass is always greener and the grass is always dead’. Addison is a healthy, smart, beautiful child who is thriving and doing incredibly well. There are thousands of children that are ill and are not thriving and yet my ‘baby’ is doing so well. This reality check (and a few hours sleep) were enough to make me realize how ‘green’ my grass really is.
Addison will be two on August 20th. August makes me reflective. I look back at how things were and wonder with amazement how we got here. I spend each moment with her in complete awe and joy. I look with anticipation at the future and know that wonderful things are in store for my precious child.
And I am grateful.
Leave a Reply